Kick me while i'm down..

Well, did i ever have a shitty day yesterday.
I noticed that my left elbow(the side i had the lumpectomy/lympectomy on) was slightly swollen.Always on the lookout for the dreaded lymphedema to set in. i mentioned it to my oncologist at my 6 month check-up yesterday morning. she looked at it squeezed here ,pressed there and yes, it's a possibility . She didn't seem too concerned about it, but let me tell you:
I AM!!
I don't want to run around with one fat arm!! So i asked here what to do about it and was told to keep an eye on it and if it gets worse she'll send me to a physical therapist. What's that gonna do? I already move my arm around, how can any kind of exercise make it better? oh, and there is also a sleeve i can wear. Great!! I'm so bummed and then on top of that i found out that once i will stop taking my cancer meds in a year and a half i will loose my insurance( medicaid) since everything but actually taking cancer meds is considered non-active treatment . Well, what about all the other health problems I'm dealing with because of "the cancer" and its treatment?
chemo gave me my joint (taking meds for that) and memory (taking meds for that)problems,radiation killed my thyroid(taking meds for that) and i have mental(depression,anxiety attacks, taking meds for that) and high blood pressure (taking meds for that)from the combined experience of the whole thing.my pharmacy bill comes to a little over $900 a month!!which right now is taken care of by medicaid.once it stops i won't be able to take any of these nor go to the Doctor for anything not even a mammogram because we can not afford it.I obviously don't work and John gets a disability check and that's what we live on. we are one step away from being homeless as it is. This is scary!!! what am i going to do???I've got a year and a half to figure it out i guess , if there is a way at all.
It's true: LIFE IS A BITCH AND THEN YOU DIE!!
Sorry for the whining and i promise my next post will be on a happier note(even if i have to make it up :)

spinning,doctors and such..

I managed to ply some of the singles
last night into this 14wpi two ply.



The colors are vibrant but on the muted side.


The Yarn felt a little stiff until i rinsed it in softener and whacked it against the bathtub a couple of times. This skein measures 246 yards with about that much more to spin.
well, i got the rest plied and got 223 more yards so there are 469 yards in all.

On another note:
I had one of my regular three month Dr.visits with my personal physician yesterday. Of course they took copious amounts of blood (like they do every time),at least they are excellent stickers and i hardly feel a thing.
They also did an annual EKG and an Chest x-ray.EKG is good, x-ray don't know yet but am not really worried.Then we discussed my arthritis problems (if that what it is..).
For several month now my joints, (especially my hands and feet) are really acting up. Very stiff fingers,to the point where i can't even close a fist, and the joints in my feet are stiff and painful especially after sitting for awhile(which i do a lot) and then getting up and trying to walk. Feels like I'm walking on hot knifes for the first five or six steps.but the rest of my joints are not far behind,i got a real problem with stairs getting up or sitting down etc.I've been taking meds for that but i might as well eat m+m's , they do that much good.(If it was possible i'd live on my horse , because that is really the only time i feel good, no pain,creakiness or weakness, just free!)
I was told that this might be the aftereffects of the chemo four years ago,shit! and my age,what does she mean my age? I'm 48 ,not 88!for crying out loud!! i ended up getting a steroid shot,Aow! and a six day steroid pack,which should get rid of the problem for awhile. I was told though that i might have to do this every six month or so,Shit! She also is running a autoimmune test making sure this is not something else. shit! but.. just a few hours after the shot i already felt a difference, a lot more limber.Yay! and this morning i wasn't groaning trying to get out of bed ,double yay!
So i better get cracking while the going is good.
Oh, something else ,I've talked to our only local brick and mortar yarn store(well, its not all yarn but a catalog merchandise return store).But the owner has turned a big part of her building over to quite an impressive amount of quality yarns(hobby lobby eat your heart out!!) and is expanding .Every time i go there there is more yarn.So, anyways she might be interested in putting some of my hand spun and hand dyed in her shop.Yay!!

between a rock and a hard place...

my weaving problems are just getting worse.
i've been weaving a little on and off over the last few days, doing everything but throwing the shuttle with my left hand.so, last night my shoulder was a little sore (i'm still working on the huck towels and have to whack the weave pretty hard). i'm laying there trying to go to sleep thinking about my aching shoulder and it hit me...i'm not supposed to do anything with that arm at all that might put injury or stress to it! this is the side i had the lumpectomy four years ago.i'm not even to let anybody take bloodpressure there.
they also removed several affected lymphnodes then. so any stress or injury could cause my arm to swell up permanently. so now i'm really in a bind: do i risk the swollen arm (which is irreversible) or agravate the carpal to the point where i need surgery(which is 15%-90% succesfull, depending who you ask)?
my weaving future really looks bleak right now (there might be a loom for sale in the near future :'(
(Seems after a few days of light weaving my soreness is gone, maybe it will work out to the good !!)

surgery?...

so i went to the bone and joint clinic and after some unpleasant tests was told that ,yes, i have tendonitis in my elbow and severe carpal tunnel syndrom ! the median nerve is not reacting at all.
so now i have the option to wear a brace and hope it will help ,(which will probably interfere with knitting(i know it will) and weaving ,not sure there, would have to try.spinning? i don't know, same , will have to try.
or.. surgery. ahhhh, i dont really want to.... but... if this brace will hinder me too much or the numbness problem will show up again, i probably will.
i am so tired of beeing cut on, poked at, scanned, x-raid, hurting.... this stupid cancer has already changed my life (and me ) so severely that i don't hardly know myself any more and now i cant even knit, spin, weave in peace. dang, i'm pooted !!!....
and then i'll have to get back with my regular doc to discuss what to do about the tendonitis. hopefully she can put me on ibuprofen, aleve,loracept, pot,morphine ... just kidding...or the dreaded shot in the joint :(
i've been weaving on and off since yesterday and so far it's not hurting. i do all i can with my left hand( i'll probably wear that one out too after a while) .
life really sucks most of the time....

And so it beginns...

Well, I finally did it,I joined the masses and jumped in the blog pool!

I'm probably not going to be very good at this,at least to start with,but maybe as time goes on I'll get better(hope is eternal ).So if you will bear with me i"ll give it a shot.

Mainly i started this blog to share tips, tricks, links and information on anything i found helpful or might be helpful for someone knitting, spinning, dyeing and fiber preparation .

Also i will use this blog to rant and rave about the cancer monkey riding my back and last but not least to promote my little online shop at http://www.skimpysmom.etsy.com/ where i sell my handmade wares.Well you didn't think i did all this just for selfless reasons ,did you?

So, before we go on I'd like to introduce SKIMPY since i get asked a lot who skimpy is and how in the hell that poor child ended up with a name like that.

Behold "SKIMPY" also known as "SKIMPMAN", "SKIMPERS", SKIMPYDOODLE" and some other names i really don't want to put down here(never know when kids might look in).

I started knitting when i was about 6 years old. My mother ,who is a crafty lady( in more ways than one), also taught me sewing and needlepoint/cross stitching.

I got away from needle arts in my early thirty's, until i got reacquainted with knitting during my radiation treatment for breast cancer (more about this black time in my live later). Starting with scarves(about 25), sweaters(4)i finally got hung up on socks.
Of course that branched out after awhile into dyeing my own yarn into spinning my own yarn into preparing fiber from scratch(fleeces, mostly raw) so i can spin and knit it . Of course that involved a spinning wheel, a drum carder,lots of wool and... nowhere to put it. Our little house started busting out of its seams. Wool,yarn,needles,dyestuff covered every flat surface in the house.One memorable afternoon when my poor suffering husband almost sat on a pair of dpn's we decided its time to get a "STUDIO" for my stuff (not the word my husband used).So we acquired a 12x24 ready made cabin and had it set next to our house. It's a diamond in the rough yet,it still needs to be insulated,wired and piped but...it's my little heaven where i spend most of my time until hubster gets home or it gets too freaking hot in here (no air conditioner yet either)

I got all my "stuff" in here now,except my dye things,since i have no water in here yet.
Speaking of dyeing, i better get to it.More later....